The Psychology of Why It Feels So Hard to Stay Inside (2024)

Staying in can be great. “Netflix and chill” is a meme for a reason. More people are working remotely than ever before. And, of course, home is where the heart is—or at least where your pillows, favorite snacks, and, in Madonna’s case, vintage typewriter are. So why has the coronavirus quarantine been so hard on so many?

Because it’s not a choice, says Neil Greenberg, a psychiatrist at King’s College London. Skipping a party or working from home can feel great when you’re in control, but when staying indoors is a requirement, it can be seriously troubling for your psyche.

In a recent study, Greenberg and his colleagues reviewed 24 scientific papers on the effects of quarantine. They found the experience can cause post-traumatic stress symptoms, confusion, numbness, grief, anger, and insomnia.

According to Greenberg, for most people, these effects resolve on their own. “Though it’s frustrating and irritating for people, [quarantine] doesn’t tend to lead to long-term mental health problems,” Greenberg said. But for others, extended isolation can have more serious consequences. People who don’t have adequate supplies, steady contact with the outside world, financial support through the crisis, or a clear timeline for when the whole thing will end are the most at risk for anxiety and depression.

Staying inside can be hard on your mind and body even when you choose it. Just ask all the people who work at home: In one poll, remote workers said they loved their flexible schedules, but many struggled with loneliness. Humans are social creatures, and many of us get a slow, steady drip of interactions throughout the workday, Greenberg said. When you don’t go into an office, or can’t go outside to socialize, you may fall into a funk—unless you’re proactive about scheduling your own social interactions.

One of the most important things people can do when they’re spending lots of time at home is establish a routine, Greeneberg said. If you’re working from home, create clear boundaries so you can actually wrap up work at the end of the day. It’s also important to keep up your workout regimen and reach out to friends, family, and coworkers digitally. “Top up on the skills that kept you well before,” Greenberg said. “You need to sustain yourself.”

The built environment also shapes people’s mental and physical health. People need access to natural light, a comfortable indoor temperature, and good air quality to function. Small things, like houseplants and a work-from-home playlist, can go a long way in helping people stay motivated. But everyone also needs enough space to express themselves, move around throughout the day, and maintain privacy. “You don’t need to have a 24-room mansion with huge grounds to be okay,” Greenberg said. “But there’s no doubt when you get down to really small situations, [quarantine] is going to be challenging.”

Fortunately, you may find some solace in the great outdoors—even if you’re confined to your own city block. Frances Kuo, an associate professor in natural resources and environmental sciences at the University of Illinois, researches healthy human habitats. Isolation is challenging, but she said people can find solace outside, as long as everyone keeps six feet of distance.

Whether it’s a tree-lined street or a neighborhood park, nature has tons of health benefits, such as lowering your heart rate, blood pressure, and stress hormones. Most importantly, “spending time outside, especially in natural areas, can help us feel more connected to the larger world,” Kuo wrote via email. That’s something everyone could use a bit more of right now.

The Psychology of Why It Feels So Hard to Stay Inside (2024)

FAQs

Why do people find it hard to be alone? ›

Some people can trace their fear of being alone to a negative or traumatic experience. Potential autophobia causes include: Being ignored, uncared for or feeling abandoned. Divorce or loss of a parent during childhood.

Why not stay alone? ›

Some of these reasons people might struggle with being alone include: Lack of experience being alone: Some people just might not be used to being by themselves because they are so accustomed to being around other people. The sudden absence of social stimulation can leave them feeling detached or disconnected.

What happens to a human when they spend too much time alone? ›

Loneliness unleashes excess stress hormones, causing an elevated heart rate, and increased blood pressure and blood sugar levels. Loneliness also reduces the number of antibodies we produce to fight infection and may make us more susceptible to cancer.

What is isolophobia? ›

Also known as autophobia, isolophobia, or eremophobia, monophobia is the fear of being isolated, lonely, or alone.

Why do we feel lonely in psychology? ›

Loneliness happens when the social connections that people want don't match their actual experience of relationships with others. It is an emotional response, and as such, it is important that we draw more on the insights from psychology than is currently the case.

Is it unhealthy to be alone a lot? ›

"Lacking encouragement from family or friends, those who are lonely may slide into unhealthy habits," Valtorta says. "In addition, loneliness has been found to raise levels of stress, impede sleep and, in turn, harm the body. Loneliness can also augment depression or anxiety."

What is the psychology of living alone? ›

Living alone can have both positive and negative implications for one's mental health. While some people may find that living alone provides them with the freedom and autonomy to make their own decisions, others may find that it leads to loneliness and isolation.

What to do when you struggle with being alone? ›

This page has some tips and suggestions for managing feelings of loneliness:
  1. Learn more about being comfortable in your own company.
  2. Try and open up to people you know.
  3. Take it slow.
  4. Make new connections.
  5. Try not to compare yourself to others.
  6. Look after yourself.
  7. Try talking therapies.

Why are people afraid of being alone with their thoughts? ›

This fear can come from different reasons, such as fear of facing uncomfortable emotions or past thoughts, or fear of just wasting time and not being productive. The problem, though, is that avoiding our thoughts can lead to anxiety, stress, and burnout.

Do people struggle with loneliness? ›

Over 60% of adults in the United States report feeling lonely. Young adults between the ages of 18 and 22 are the loneliest age group. The number of people who live alone has increased by over 30% in the last few decades. Social isolation is as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Why is loneliness getting worse? ›

But experts say it has worsened in recent years. As the American population becomes older and sicker with chronic diseases, the loneliness numbers have increased, Nobel said. Modern conveniences have also caused loneliness to expand dramatically across the population, especially since the COVID-19 pandemic.

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